Gratitude and other ramblings of Thanksgiving!

I love Thanksgiving! I love all the preparation that goes into making that incredible feast, I love the gathering of family, the laughing and playing. I love getting up early with my husband when the rest of the house is still and giggling while we fumble around with that blasted turkey! I love the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, the glow of dinner candles, the piling up of coats in the hall closet, the going around the table and saying what we’re thankful for, the unexpected calls, emails and texts from loved ones prompted to share thanksgiving sentiments from across the miles. I love the bustle of black Friday, talking to friendly strangers waiting in line, smiling at the cranky ones, and of course the ushering in of my absolute favorite time of year...Christmas!

Traditionally, this is the part where I share what I personally am thankful for. I must admit that I have written and deleted this second paragraph three times already, mostly because there are just too many directions that I could go and no matter which way I turn, I end up with a hodgepodge of thankfulness that has no clear ending point (this makes writing it down quite a daunting task!) So I stop. Backspace. Stare. Think. and start again. Truth is, in recent years I have become a very thankful person (feel free to roll your eyes as I pat my own back). What I mean is, the lens with which I view my world has changed, I have become more conscious of and humbled by the blessings in my life. There was a version of me, if you look back on my life timeline, who did not see the world through that lens and never could have EVER imagined the fullness of the life I now live. That realization alone, leaves me overwhelmed with gratitude to a God who loves me in spite of myself...and awestruck (shocked even) by the fact that he’s not the only one who does...

I could make a million lists, organized by topics, of all that I am so thankful for (and most likely I will make some of those lists...I love lists!) I could (and should) sit down and write to some of the most important people in my life, and tell them that they are so and express why I am so grateful that God has caused our paths to meet (I’ll probably do that too!) but I think what I am most thankful for is gratitude itself, and the ability to “see”. When I can look at my life in terms of how far God has brought me, and see the gifts in my everyday life, I am filled with joy and contentment! It’s taken some time, and even some tragedy, but I am definitely so grateful and have worked at becoming a person who can express this gratitude freely!
It isn’t always easy, sometimes it’s difficult to make gratitude my attitude, and sometimes expressing these feelings leaves me open for confusion, disappointment, and even rejection.

Not everyone goes around telling people how much they mean to them, and not everyone is ready to hear how much they mean to you. That shouldn’t matter...and for me, most days, it really doesn’t. Time is short, and people deserve to know what they mean to you as much as you deserve to actively live out your gratitude by telling them! I am fortunate and humbled to have a few people in my own life who choose to love and appreciate me despite my many short-comings and flaws, the realization of this humbles and inspires me more than I can say, it also fills me with gratefulness...I hope that I can do that same thing for the people who I love, by making them know how much they mean to me and expressing how thankful I am for what they add to my life!

So this thanksgiving I’m thankful for a family that I adore, friends that keep life fun, long talks, fresh cups of coffee, songs that make me think, smells that make me nostalgic, paper bag puppet shows with my children, a job that fills me to overflowing, LOVE, a king sized bed, wireless internet, quiet moments alone to think, WONDER, fires, memories that keep on coming around, people to share them with, a BFF, surround sound, video games, rollercoasters, Christmas lights, the night sky, health, traditions, dancing, LAUGHTER, hugs, smiles, lessons learned, figuring life out with people who care about you...and most of all, I’m thankful for gratitude itself. Happy Thanksgiving! Be grateful and spread the gratitude around, it makes a difference..at least I think it does! :) <3

If these walls could talk...

This morning as I scanned my inbox full of emails, with the full intention of ignoring most of them until I had more time, one from my husband caught my eye. I had to smile when I read the contents, wishing me a happy 10 year anniversary of home ownership. Andy is great with dates, and I’m a sentimental sap at heart, and so today a new tradition is born: Houseversary celebrations. When I picked up the kids from school they rushed up to the house (armed with the knowledge of this special day) screaming “Happy Birthday House!” “We love you house” and continuing the declarations and memory sharing through the dinner hour. My five-year-old daughter Alana is journaling about her favorite thing about our house, my two-year old son Connor, is wearing an indian headdress of construction paper and he and my husband are setting up train tracks on the family room floor. Soon there will be baths, pjs and bedtime stories, for them. While Andy lays with Connor, I’ll slip out to our fave Chinese place to pick up dinner so we can sit on our floor, eat out of cartons, and play video games in homage of our earliest days in this house. Then perhaps, we’ll make our first fire of the season and Andy will ask me if I’ve decided yet on my favorite memory in this house (I know this because he prepped me with the question this morning).
If these walls could talk they’d have a lot to say. It’s amazing how much history a place can hold in a decade. I still remember the first time we stepped foot in this house, the look on Andy’s face as he held both my hands and very convincingly described how he imagined our life playing out in this house. “This is the one!” he had said, and despite having my heart set on a powder blue colonial we had seen a few weeks earlier, I couldn’t help but cave-in to the look on his face, the conviction in his eyes. I have no regrets about that. Ten years later, this house is just a shadow of what it was back then, and that moment when we decided to start our life here feels like it could have been yesterday. I remember walking through this house trying to imagine what my life here would be like, picturing moments that I could hardly grasp or understand at the time.
Back then, I imagined cooking elaborate meals in my kitchen, but never could have grasped the countless hours we’d spend laughing, trying, failing, succeeding, balancing enormous thanksgiving turkeys, icing countless birthday cakes for friends and loved ones, ritual Saturday morning pancakes, and dancing. Lots and lots of dancing! We dreamed about our children running these halls, but never could have really grasped how they would make this house come to life each morning with their giggling and stomping, racing and chasing. We dreamed of filling this house with our loved ones, but never could have imagined the joy of hosting holidays, birthdays, weekends & spur-of-the-moment- drop-ins! We’ve had long-term houseguests, and unexpected visitors, we’ve experienced the joy of new-life and the devastation of lost life, we’ve laughed and played and dreamed and worked and tickeled and talked, and wondered and learned within these walls.
On this day, a decade ago we made this our house, but somewhere along the way, we filled it with life, wonderful times of dancing and laughing, hard times of grieving and slamming doors, and that life made this house a home, and there’s no place a Halliday would rather be than home. Happy Houseversary 651