This week, my baby girl turns 6! Every parenting cliche fits in right about here, but I won’t torture you with all of the “it seems like only yesterday” s and “I can’t believe how she’s changed my life!” (although it does and I can’t)
Instead, three life-lessons I’ve learned from the little girl who first made me a mother!
1. The days are long but the years fly by: This is something my mother would tell me when she looked into my tired, desperate eyes after a sleepless night or tantrum-filled day. Intellectually, I knew she was right, but I am only now beginning to really understand it. There were plenty of parenting days with Alana that I thought would never end (I’m sure there will be plenty more), but truly, I can not believe that the tiny little girl who snuggled up in my lap and asked me about “You Nork” (New York) is gone from my life forever...everyday she is replaced by someone equally precious but infinitely different and endlessly challenging. I know that these moments are fleeting and so I try to pour as much in and drink as much out of the time we spend together, completely aware and correspondingly in denial of the fact that in a blink I’ll be gray, she’ll be grown, and I’ll be wondering how it went by so fast. (note to self: read this blog around dinner time tomorrow when aforementioned “angel-girl” is whining at decibels that rival dog whistles and begging me to make her waffles for dinner instead of eating her vegetables. take a deep breath. resume stone-faced insistence of eating vegetables)
2. Everything you need to know about relationships can be found in a Shel Silverstein Book: From the giving tree we learn about sacrificial love, from The Missing Piece we learn about being whole on our own, don’t even get me started on “the Big O” and “Hug of War”. Bedtime stories are constant reminders to me of how to relate to the people in my life, and have served as jumping-off points for plenty of deep and meaningful conversations with my five-year-old that I hope will shape who my daughter grows to be...they are definitely shaping me!
3. At its best, love is both simple and unconditional: We were watching the Disney movie “UP” when a line from the movie caught my attention (as I was, ever the multi-tasker, also grading papers at the time) The dog says (well thinks, and the master hears his thoughts), “I was hiding under your porch because I Love You...can I please come in?” Don’t ask me why, but I found this simple and straightforward declaration to be refreshing and adorable. It immediately became a phrase in our house, even my two-year-old son joins in when we say it. It’s our own special way of saying “I love you, I want to be near you, and you make me happy”. I make a point to break it out at special moments, but also at moments where I am completely frustrated and frazzled with my very strong-willed daughter. I know, that she knows, that I love her even in those most unfavorable and imperfect moments, and knowing that she knows this...makes me feel successful as a parent.
I know I won’t always be her hero. She won’t always think it’s cool to dance with me in our kitchen, bury her dad under pillows and blankets, or discuss books with me snuggled up on the sofa. We’re destined to impress and disappoint each other many times through this journey. I know she’s going to encounter obstacles that I won’t be able to move and that she’ll come to me with problems I am not capable to solve. She is and will continue to be the best and worst of me intermingled with the best and worst of her father and marinating in juices that are uniquely hers for better or worse. At the end of the day though, she is the result of a choice that was made, a gift that was given, and a miracle that was entrusted to a very undeserving me by a God who knows what we need better than we do...I am so humbled and grateful and determined to see her shine, help her grow, and love her hopelessly for the rest of my life!
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